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For the Girl Who Waited – A Letter to 15 Year Old Me

Hey Girl,

First let me start off by saying I get it; you’re extremely confused. You’ve been passed up yet again for a different girl. When word gets back to you, and you hear “So-in-so said he would ask you out if your dad wasn’t so strict…”, you will hate your dad, but I promise, he is doing you a favor. When you hear, “She’s the girl you marry…not the girl you date…”, it will feel like you have been stabbed right in the heart. One day, you will learn that was one of the biggest compliments of your life.You will smile graciously when you hear, “You’re just such a great friend, I would hate myself if we ever lost that.” You will hold back tears when he says, “I’m young. I want to see what my options are. There are a lot of fish in the sea and I want to try them all out. When we are older maybe we can try this again…”

You are going to hear all of your friends talk about subjects that you have no clue about. The thought briefly crosses your mind that if you were more “experienced” you would not be in this spot.

I wish I could tell you that this will all be over soon, but no. You will spend your entire high school career with no “long-term boyfriend”. There will be a few, but they will be extremely brief. You will get your heart broken, and you will break a heart. I promise, just wait, it will eventually look up.

After graduation, you will find someone; the one you always wanted (yes, him). During this time, you will start to become who you are today. You will be exposed to new ideas, and new friends. You will give every shred of innocents away to him, and there will be no regrets. You will always fondly look back on the summer you were nineteen. Sadly, it cannot stay perfect forever, you are going to have to do some more waiting.  You will watch the one you love slowly fade. You will not see it until the end, but he becomes someone completely different. It is not until you are surrounded by your family on your birthday, that you realize, he is not coming. You have been passed up again. I’m begging you; wait.

I feel the need to pause here, and tell you that nothing is wrong with you. Your life is not as much as a sob story as you believe. Any boy who is too afraid of your dad is too much a coward for you. Any boy who wants you to turn in your self respect for a date does not even deserve the time of day from you. I promise these heartbreaks will make sense. Great things are on the way; just wait.

Before you know it, you are going to walk through a hallway, lock in on the greenest eyes you have ever seen, and you will forget everything. You will find yourself at an Applebee’s at 12 am (because he has a lovely thing called a job), stumbling over every word because you are so smitten. He will tell you on date #4, “I want to meet your dad  before we go out again.”……. Dad will see straight through his tan skin, and green eyes, and will hate him; at first.

Again, I must pause. Your life is no movie. You are going to see moments of sadness, weakness, and disappointment. You will see his pain, and you will want to desperately take it all away. There is no “perfect” relationship. Only relationships perfect for you. Honey, trust me when I say this is perfect for you.

He will understand your weirdness on levels you did not even know you had! That love you lost? You did not lose it, you just had to wait for it. He is going to laugh with you, cry with you, and grow with you. He is going to respect everything you do, and everything you want to do. You are going to watch his face gleam as he becomes a father…TWICE (….and maybe one more time if you can talk him into it…). There will come a day when only his opinion will matter. You are going to build a life with him, and you will know what love really is. Happiness will find you, if you wait for it. 

One night, you are going to sit on a beach, and he is going to hand you a tiny blue box, and tell you everything you ever wanted to hear. When you open it, there will be a note that says, “For the girl who waited, you’ve waited long enough.”


Always,

Emi

 

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