family · love

What I Heared in the Silence

Normally, silence is my enemy. It’s when things begin to settle in the quiet, and my mind makes just enough room for thoughts that do not belong. However, there are times when silence can be my friend. 

The other night, we found that our TV was broken, and our Internet was out. This meant basically zero electronics in our bedroom other than our phones. I decided to just enjoy the silence. 

Once my mind settled, I noticed the sound of rain. This is funny, because typically, we never know if it’s raining at our house. In the tiny trailer that we lived in before our current house, you could hear everything…especially the rain. The smallest shower sounded like a monsoon against the tin roof. 

As my mind normally does, it began to wonder. It was like I could hear two puppies running to jump in bed and snuggle. I could hear game nights with friends, and so much laughter. I could hear a newborn’s cry. I could hear a baby cooing, and laughing. I could hear little feet stumbling down a long hallway. I could hear myself running around in high heels, chasing a goat out of the living room. I could hear music being played from a piano, and records on the turntable. I could hear Elmo…so much Elmo. I could hear Billie Holiday singing as I cooked my first Thanksgiving dish. I could hear the tears and laughter of realizing we were bringing another life into this world. I could hear three Christmas mornings shared. Finally, I could hear the sighs in an empty house as we closed the doors for the last time; on to better things. 

As the sound of rain came back, as did my mind, I could only smile at the place we came from. The place we started. The place, at the time, I couldn’t wait to leave. Now the place I hold so dearly. That tiny trailer held together so much more than I will ever realize. 

Finally, the silence takes over and I finally begin to fall asleep, but not before Jeremy sighs, gives me a big squeeze, and says, “Nights like this make me miss the trailer…”

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